Soundtrack Creations: “Untitled Vampire Movie”

I was inspired after this week’s episode to create my own movie soundtrack. Every song on the An American Werewolf In London soundtrack has the word “moon” in it, so I decided to do my own spin on it… while creating an outline for a screenplay in the process. There seems to be a ton of songs about vampires, so that’s the path I took. Please enjoy the soundtrack to my make believe (but maybe someday real) vampire movie. (Listen to the Spotify playlist of “Untitled Vampire Movie” here.)

Dracula From Houston, Butthole Surfers

I originally heard this on the Scrubs soundtrack, and have since used it on several different playlists. BS have their own flavor and they fit perfectly in this vampire movie. This is the song that will be playing during character introductions (a la Donnie Darko) after a very dark prologue misleads you into thinking you’ll be watching a different type of movie.

Vampire, Nitemayor

I can’t find a damn thing on the internet about this group other than a cool music video. Another tune I’d consider a “summer song,” it’s a love song (as most songs about vampires are) with a reggae-dub feel to it. Maybe we’re introduced to our protagonist – let’s call him Tom – who is at first seen as this really cool kid (also, he’s a vampire) but turns out he’s a huge nerd.

Vampires, The Midnight

Synthwave is where it’s at nowadays. Even though it’s always been around, and groups like The Midnight, Timecop1983, and Perturbator have been touring for years, I feel like Stranger Things really brought this genre to the forefront. Dancey with a beautiful melody and sexy sax makes for a perfect summer night of bloodsucking. Our love interest – Jeannie – is at makeout point with the star of the basketball team. He’s making advances that she’s not comfortable with, and she tells him no, but he just keeps at it. Here, Tom the nerdy vampire shows up and tries to help out but gets cold-cocked in the process. Asshole boyfriend (Chad – Chads are always assholes) leaves our soon-to-be-lovers in the dust. She thanks our hero, they turn, and look out over the city lights. Slow fade.

Tokyo – Vampires and Wolves, The Wombats

An AltNation mainstay, The Wombats make you move. Here we have Tom sitting at his desk in his bedroom trying to compose the perfect text to send to Jeannie. Nothing’s landing, and maybe he accidentally sends one of his failed drafts. No response. He paces back and forth, panic overtaking his teenage mind. He falls on his bed, holding his head, praying for death. But wait! Ding. He checks his phone. A text. From her!

Vampires In Love, A Great Big Pile Of Leaves

What a beautiful song! Very New York! Vampires In Love! Tom and Jeannie are at the carnival (think The Lost Boys), they’re having a great time. Tom wins a prize for Jeannie. A stuffed Mr. Peanut or Oscar Meyer Weinermobile (product placement, we need the advertising dollars). They order ice cream and go for a stroll. We see them walking down the boardwalk, away from the noise, a moment of solitude, together. Close on their hands. She nervously reaches her pinky over to his hand. They lock eyes. Then hands.

Vampire Blues, Neil Young

Out of place, you’re thinking. Stepping back in time, you say. My parents were huge Neil Young fans, so I knew I had to include this. Here is the moment Tom’s secret is revealed. Jeannie’s reaction isn’t what he expected. Before their relationship moved any further, he wanted to come clean. He thought his honesty about his true identity would play in his favor. He was wrong. She’s terrified of him now. No more texts. No more Instagram favs. No more ice cream. Now Tom thirsts for blood – something he’s kept under control for a long time. Tonight’s the night things change!

All Hail Dracula!, Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin

This will be the perfect juxtaposition to what is happening on the screen. This is a super fun song that would play perfectly during a buddy-buddy montage in a lighthearted comedy. A light-hearted comedy this is not, though. Tom’s pissed, he’s hungry, and he’s going out. Maybe he hits a club, runs into Chad, kills him, and quenches his bloodlust. Oh, but that’s not it. As the bodies pile, Tom’s mood isn’t changing. In fact, the depression is really starting to set in. And then… she’s there. Jeannie appears, sees Tom, his face covered in blood, and runs away. Tom goes after her.

Tokyo Vampire Hotel, tricot

Japanese mathrock by an all-girl band. Jesus yes! It’s a perfect song for the background of our next scene. Tom catches up with Jeannie, but no words are spoken. He reaches for her hand, but she flinches away like she’s scared of him now. Tom stands there, stunned, crushed. He gets back to his house and let’s the blackness set in. Everything in sight is a target. Dishes. Books. Tables. Windows. Curtains. The house is destroyed by Tom’s anger. He feels better in the morning.

Dracula Teeth, The Last Shadow Puppets

The Beatles have inspired some of my favorite bands of all time. Listen to The Shadow Puppets and you’ll get it. It’s time for Tom to make a change. His true self has finally taken its toll. Maybe Tom picks up a nail file, contemplating taking it to his teeth. (He doesn’t.) He grabs a pair of pliers. He grabs hold of one fang… The pliers fall into the sink. Tom just looks at himself in the mirror, hating what he’s looking at. He cleans up the house (maybe his parents are gone for the weekend), checks his phone a millions times, still nothing. His finger hovers over Jeannie’s number. Should he call? Text? Just forget about her? Decisions. I’ve also decided at this point these people are mid-twenties, not teenagers. This could get REAL dumb if it was set in high school. Finally, Tom calls. Jeannie answers. Fade.

The Vampires, Paul Simon

Musically, this is very Paul Simon. Lyrically this is very Snoop Dogg. This comes from the Broadway musical Simon wrote about convicted murderer and Puerto Rican gangster Salvador Agron called Capeman. (WHAT?!?!?!) As for the movie (and ignoring the lyrics), let’s say it’s 5 years down the road, Tom and Jeannie are together, she’s a vampire, and they’re at the club… hunting. True love, friends. Fin.

Vampires (Afrolicious & Rob Garza Remix), Thievery Corporation

I will never tire of TC. These two make the most worldly, danceworthy music, and, unlike most techno-ish music, every song actually sounds different. This is the song playing during the credits. That’s it…

Cinderella Dracula, Tired Lion

… Post-credit scene! You’ll be hearing this song on the podcast later this summer, but it belongs in my movie right now. Here we have Tom and Jeannie waking up after “overdoing” the previous night. A bloody hangover, if you will. Both wake up, half naked, faces covered in dried blood. Maybe there’s a few random body parts or organs lying around. They look at each other, groggy, but happy. All of a sudden Chad bursts through the door! Uh-oh! Tom didn’t actually kill him! Chad’s a very pissed off vampire now! Blackout.

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