Today is a momentous day. Why? Well because ever since Scholastic discontinued Stine’s original Goosebumps book series in 1997, I’ve been proclaiming to people that I own every book in the original series. Every book, that is, except for the final one. Goosebumps #62: Monster Blood IV. If you did the math correctly you’ll see that my incomplete collection is old enough to legally consume alcohol in the US. Today that all changed.
No doubt you are familiar with the Goosebumps series of books. Night of the Living Dummy, The Haunted Mask, Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes, and the like. Goosebumps spawned no fewer than 6 series spinoffs, a TV series, and a major motion picture. I grew up as R.L. Stine’s biggest fan. I had the sheets, the comforter, the clothing (I particularly remember my Go Eat Worms hat and my ridiculously comfortable pajamas), I had the board game, the fan club membership, and of course all of the books. My dad made me do chin-ups for the allowance money to buy them. Well…
It was a day like any other. I awoke to a cat warming my feet. I hit the John. I tossed on a screener to be reviewed later that day. All good things. But suddenly, I got antsy. Some vibration in the universe was tugging at me. Pleading with me to go to the secondhand media store. I had to go out for a prescription already anyway, so it wouldn’t hurt to spend the gas hitting up Half Price Books. “Who knows?” I thought, “They might have some great horror movies!”
Upon arriving I began my usual scan. First of the blu rays, then the DVDs. Nothing. As I’m leaving, a whisper of curiosity brushed across my brain like the eyelashes of a butterly, if such a thing existed. Yes, I will look at the children’s books.
SHA-BAMM!!! YOINK!!! FUCCYEAH!!! There is was in my hands. The missing tome. Monster Blood IV. $1.99. Sure as shit I bought that motherfucker. My collection was complete.
“But, Rat!” You may be asking yourself, “Why not just buy that online?” The answer is simple and novel. For the hunt! Knowing I had only one missing piece, and that one day I would surely come across that piece in a capacity such as this, I suppressed the urge to deprive myself of that excitement. The excitement of spotting it in the wild. And I’m glad I did! Now I can proudly display my collection knowing that I put in the legwork! Stay slime, friends.