Schlock & Gore: Acid Bath (2006)

directed by Lou Garcia and Annette Martinez
runtime: 76 minutes
Wild Eye Releasing
This tagline makes no sense.
Salvador Dali is quoted as saying “Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.” So then is it safe to say that ambition without intelligence is wings without a bird? If that’s the case then Acid Bath is full-on Red Bull. It gives you wings. I’ll give it the bird.
It would be unfair to call Acid Bath an unpolished turd. The ambition on display really can’t be denied. It’s a menagerie of fast-talking Spanish, sweet nunchuck moves, cheap digital effects, impossible bazooka shots, and watery gore. The soundtrack is nothing if not misguided with dated ska, goth rock, dirt punk, poop thrash, and homemade synth scores. The editing is fast, choppy, and stylish. And did I mention the sweet nunchuck moves? There is a lot to admire here. Whether or not it all belongs in the same movie, I’ll let you decide.
Don’t worry. He had it coming.
Director Lou Garcia summarizes the plot: “A crazed murderer is on the loose and he’s got the local nightlife on the run. The hooker network has organized a game plan to save themselves from their unknown killer. In a conflict between the crime syndicate and a reckless bounty hunter, their fates will all be decided in a flash.”
The crazed murderer is a bro named Zeke with a buzz-cut and camo shorts. His two favorite bands are probably Hatebreed and Cypress Hill. The only scary thing about him is that you probably knew him in highschool, except his name was Zack or Kyle. Perhaps you even dated him. Hate to tell you this, but every Hatebreed and Cypress Hill loving Zack or Kyle you knew in highschool is now killing hookers, harvesting their organs, and then dissolving their bodies in an acid bath.
Behold! The elusive hooker without trackmarks!
I would rather watch this movie than go to the DMV.
There’s another side to Acid Bath that involves the aforementioned crime syndicate and reckless bounty hunter (The bounty hunter reminding me more of Steve Oedekerk in Kung Pow than Boba Fett, for the record).  I’m really not sure what any of this had to do with the hooker murder stuff, but it’s this part of the story that has the martial arts and guns. There’s also some sweet nunchuck moves!
I would rather watch this movie than go to the courthouse.
If directors Lou and Annette succeed at anything here, it’s recapturing what was great about the video stores of yore. Killer box art, resulting in a blind rental that leaves us pleasantly (at least in my case) confused. If you can get past the pacing issues, Acid Bath could easily be popped into your home viewing device to be enjoyed over a pizza and some beer or sodas, and then followed up by an even cheaper low-budget affair. Something like The Bloody Moon or Black Devil Doll From Hell just to take the edge off. You should check out this movie for the sole fact that it doesn’t rely on pointless humor throughout in order to make it watchable. I commend Acid Bath for that.
I would rather watch this movie than go to a Hatebreed or Cypress hill concert.
I give Acid Bath an honest 4/10
Stay Slime, and be rad at all times!

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