Schlock & Gore: Alien Nightmare X (2018)

directed by Dmitry Chmelyov

runtime: 62 mins

Toxic Filth Video

 

This review is sponsored by the Illuminati®

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When I was a kid, I had an impressive collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. I would make them perform impossible feats, and they were never truly in danger of the bad guys. They would just punch their stupid faces in after performing some ridiculous quadruple flip pile-driver on Pizzaface or Sergeant Bananas or Rocksteady. What does any of this have to do with Alien Nightmare X?

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It’s the year 2025. Comrades Alex and Victor have just returned from the Illuminati’s own planet, planet Silius. Now they are looking a ravaged Earth in the eye-sockets. Not much is left after the alien invasion. They team with a warrior that goes only by “The Possessed,” and fight to survive the attacks of the alien humanoids and spiders.

Does that sound ambitious to you? What if I told you that Dmitry Chmelyov made a movie about another planet, complete with a giant robot battle and exploding alien heads for the cost of your Live Laugh Love tattoo? Impressed yet?

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Nooo, not my precious goo!
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That’s what I get for offing aliens.

If you were to ask me “Rat, what do most movies lack?” I would answer with “Aliens getting punched in the face.” Well some empyrean being answered my prayers because in Alien Nightmare X, aliens get punched right in the mug. Like, a lot. They also get their heads stomped in! Wait is this American History X or Alien Nightmare X? On top of all that, a UFO gets shot down by a bazooka! Awesome, right? This brings me back to the Ninja Turtles…

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Ratking was a favorite of mine, as you might imagine.

See, my Ninja Turtles were never really in danger, since they could perform impossible feats with ease, and I felt the same way about our heroes in Alien Nightmare X. The peril was there, but I wasn’t concerned. I was only ready to see what ridiculous character or weapon would turn up next. It’s the type of movie you would make in your backyard with your friends and a bunch of cardboard boxes, but with such an expert polish that it looks ideal for afternoon television.

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I think these robots are made out of erector sets and ground beef.

Alien Nightmare X is much in the spirit of Manborg or Kung Fury, but with more mediums showcased. Animation and miniature work among them. Sure there are a few fundamentals that get ignored completely, but this is a GOOD independent film. It’s impressively made and entertaining as hell. What more can you really ask for?

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Hello, I was dead but now I’m alive again and also a monster now and oh yeah I want revenge.

Dmitry Chmelyov is a filmmaker to watch out for. I can only imagine what sort of lunacy he would accomplish with an actual budget to play with. That being said, I would love to see these independent sci-fi menageries continue to get made until the day I die. And heck, maybe if I’m lucky, he’ll direct a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film one day.

9/10

Stay Slime, and be Rad at all times!

-Rat

 

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I also liked Muckman!

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