Fresh Cuts: Venom (2018) (USA)

I’m not sure how the hell this happened but it did. I’m not sure why the hell this happened but it did. If you are lucky enough to have the time, please go see Venom. It is insanely fun and…well…just kind of insane. Tom Hardy is Eddie Brock (who either has some sort of mental disability or still equates New York accents* with his role in The Drop) and his life is about to change drastically.

*Thanks Ivana

Swoon

As an investigative journalist he digs a little too deep into Carlton Drake’s (Riz Ahmed) shady business dealings and lack of ethics concerning his research in pursuit of guaranteeing humanity’s future. Much like any insane man with money and a giant ego, Drake believes our future lies in the stars! More importantly, he believes combining alien and human DNA (or something like that) to create super humans (I think. I don’t know, we were laughing pretty hard) is the only way we’ll survive. On top of being rich and crazy, Drake is also a man with connections, so not only does Brock lose his job, but he also loses his fiancé when his reckless actions get her fired from the firm representing Drake’s business. For six months Brock wallows in loserdom, eking out a sad living and minding his own business. This changes when one of the scientists working for Drake (Jenny “Fuckin” Slate) has issues with the experiments going on in the lab. Drake is living his dream and attempting to bond an alien race he has discovered on one of his deep space expeditions with human hosts (of the “won’t be missed” variety) plucked from the street. Dr. Skirth (yes! It is Jenny “Fuckin” Slate!) sneaks Brock into the lab to gather evidence but when he recognizes one of the hosts he helps break her out and immediately gets infected by the alien inside her. The symbiote (the name of the alien race) bonds with Brock and, unlike the other hosts, it doesn’t kill him. They seem to be a perfect match.

Slater Gator

Now with a voice in his head (that goes by the name of Venom) and some fun super powers (the symbiote is super strong, can manipulate itself to form weapons and can fix broken and/or busted body parts) Eddie has the edge he needs to fight off Drake’s goons and eventually (thanks to another symbiote that escaped during a rocket crash) a powered up Drake. Climate change, world domination and (SPOILER!!! STOP READING) a red headed Woody Harrelson (who my good friend Ivana pointed out looks a hell of a lot like Sideshow Bob) (END SPOILER) all eventually pop up in the script.

“Oh I’ll stay away alright, stay away…forever” – Carnage

The drab first act is no inclination to what is about to explode onto your screen. It seems like Tom Hardy mainlined Nicolas Cage and decided to have some fun. The weird odd couple relationship between him and Venom is delightful and dumb in perfect unison. It’s like a buddy cop film where two mismatched partners learn to help each other out after a rocky start but instead of being police officers one is a human loser with a possible (probable) mental disability and the other is a big ass monster who also happens to be a loser on his home planet. Venom is perfectly rendered and will erase any memory one has of Topher Grace. This is the Venom that I loved throughout the 90s. He looks cool as all hell and does cool shit…it doesn’t go beyond that…it really doesn’t need to (never really did in the comics). It’s a monster flick at heart and you get plenty of monster goodness once the alien comes into play. You even get more than one head bitten off…BY THE FUCKIN HERO! It’s not super violent but it’s super enjoyable. I was slack jawed and grinning through most of the run time. Get drunk, get high, get a group of like-minded weirdo film lovers together, as long as your get your ass out there and witness a big budget film that revels in its own stupidity and does not have a serious bone in its body. I want a sequel…damnit! 8/10


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