Schlock du Jour: Haiku Reviews Vol. 4

It’s that time again! I have culminated from my miscellaneous notes an all new edition of Haiku Reviews, that will hopefully make up for my recent neglect. Included in this entry are:
Day of the Reaper
All Strippers Must die
American Guinea Pig: Sacrifice
Devil’s Weekend
Spoiler, I only really loved one of them.
And stay tuned as November is renamed SOVember. Coming soon. Without further ado, haiku.

Day of the Reaper (1984)



a tablecloth hood
fastened with nondescript rope
time to kill some hoes
The year is 1984. Michael Jackson is raking in the Grammys, Terms of Endearment takes the best picture Oscar, and Tim Ritter is making himself this little movie. Much like Ogroff and Lunch Meat, DAY OF THE REAPER plays like a half-remembered dream. The spongy parts of the brain wrinkle like a loose sheet as a cavalcade of continuity errors roll over it in SOV steamroller fashion. With frantic synthesized organ playing that sounds like it popped out of a canister of John Carpenter B-sides, Day of the Reaper has the perfect little homemade soundtrack to pop in while I clean the house.
directed by Tim Ritter

Devotion (2017)


narratives are cheap
when done in the standard way
on home video
Illinois. Specifically Decater and its nature. I suppose most towns have their legends. Urban Legend should have had a sequel called “Rural Legend.” And while we’re on the topic of incorrectly named sequels, The sequel to Sharknado should have been “SharknaDos”, The addition of the “s” paying homage to Alien/Aliens, but also the “Dos” bit being Spanish for two. I mean, talk about missed opportunities! But mentioning Sharknado in the same breath of DEVOTION is doing DEVOTION a disservice, see. Because DEVOTION comes from a genuine place. I got a little off track.
This movie might be as much about the fucked up nature of Decater as it is about estranged friendships and suicide. Suicide in the face of clowns. A detailed analysis is a bit tricky considering I couldn’t make out half of the dialog (One of my biggest issues with VHS is the sound. Even moreso with DIY films of this nature).  But a girl kills herself. A friend of said girl looks into the girl’s past. She learns of her relationship with an independent filmmaker. Then she hangs out with Linnea Quigley. Then there’s a lot of second unit shots of cemeteries. It feels like an art project film as it eschews any real standard narrative.
I would say DEVOTION is not for most, but SOV horror fans should dig in. Purchasable from Magnetic Magic Rentals (though currently sold out)
directed by Jessie Seitz

All Strippers Must Die! (2017)


Jesus tapdancing…
I spit out my soda pop
watching Debra Lamb
This movie has a ghost blowjob, so that’s great! Debra Lamb is an actress who is really into what she’s doing, but would probably be best suited as a co-star to Tommy Wiseau. I laughed lots. But anyway, this movie wasn’t great, but it was trash so I’ll eat it. A strip club is haunted by ghost demons or something. A camera crew is attempting to document it. A lot is attempted with this one, and not a lot works, but it may satisfy as an oddity for those select few. Did I mention ghost blowjob? Available at Wild Eye Releasing.
directed by Charles Webb

American Guinea Pig: Sacrifice (2017)


grown man with braces

and questionable haircut

cuts himself a lot


AGP: SACRIFICE is another movie about fetishized wounds and penis mutilation. Nothing new here. It’s a Schramm wannabe, but director Poison Rouge is no Jorg Buttgereit.


directed by Poison Rouge


Devil’s Weekend (2012)



fucking his victims
fucking everything he kills
fucking a dead cat
Cédric Dupuis, however, MAY be the next Jorg Buttgereit. DEVIL’S WEEKEND is sick, it’s humorous, it’s black, and it even goes over the line. Also known as “Making Off”, DEVIL’S WEEKEND plays as a making of an independent film that just isnt coming together, so Olivier (played by writer/director Dupuis) films himself killing off his cast of friends to make something truly artful. As I started watching this, I felt like it was pretentious and trying too hard to be shocking. But as the movie progressed I felt that it worked in its own world just fine. A great entry into the Wild Eye Raw & Extreme DVD line.
directed by Cédric Dupuis
if thine should stay slime
and be rad all of the times
we can truly live

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