The Merits of Sin: D.N.A. Bloodrush (1997) (Australia)

SOVember is coming to a close but I have one last festering surprise, slowly clawing its way out of a well earned garbage filled obscurity. Ladies and gentlemen, I present

and I apologize for letting it loose in your world.

Oooph! SOV from Down Under is filled to the brim with unlikable characters, braindead choices, a highly questionable survival bikini and some proper fanny pack love. There’s also some quick flashes of Schnaas style splatter and boobs to keep your mind from completely shutting down.

Fanny be packing

An annual survival game contest is underway and there are two teams going head to head in a race for cash and prizes. There’s a team of (I am assume they were supposed to be) lovable goofballs filled with horny and annoying jackasses under the leadership of a long haired fanny pack sporting idiot. They’re up against a group of athletic assholes lead by a cocaine loving and constantly pissed off alpha asshole. There’s about a dozen assholes running around, generally sucking at life and getting into lame ass physical altercations with each other. This carries on, for what feels like days but is closer to forty minutes, until a crustacean like female alien creature begins picking off the competitors.

Our savior

Once the slow process of using their brains allows them to see they are all screwed, the surviving groups of morons realize they must team up if they wish to escape the Gold Coast alive. Complicating things is the alien creatures ability to send out the recently slaughtered victims as homicidal zombies. Everyone scatters, a Fortean researcher shows up to explain some crap and there’s also an under explained military presence in the area. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.

Apathy

There is a hell of a lot wrong with this flaming pile of garbage but you may just fall hard for this inept piece of Aussie excrement. The monster suit looks like a drugged up lobster with boobs and has the color scheme of a Joel Schumacher Batman villain. Nobody in the cast fashions a remotely sympathetic character so it’s fun to watch them meet the business end of a claw. Sadly, the fun homegrown violence is only shown in quick flashes. The women do not shy away from nudity and the music does not shy away from its obvious butt origins. Mumbling dialogue and adrenaline fueled idiocy sweeten the pot. Alcohol will help you get to the finish line.

You made it!

As far as Predator ripoffs go, this is one of the trashiest of versions. Behind and in front the camera, everyone fails. Your enjoyment will rely on how spellbound you get while viewing the flames given off by the dumpster fire. Some will be hypnotized and some will realize they have better things to do and walk off. Both are the right choice. 5/10

Unreleased outside of a Japanese VHS (which served as the source for my bootleg dvd), you may have a hard time finding this one. Add on the fact that it may not be worth the hunt and it’s completely up to you if you feel like putting any effort into finding it.


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