Schlock du Jour: Bonehill Road (2017)

directed by Todd Sheets

runtime: 106 mins
Bonehill Road. Sexy relative of “Makeout Point”, or fucked up place crawling with werewolves? I’ll give you a clue.
“[BONEHILL ROAD is] The best werewolf flick since Howling III: The Marsupials!” -Eber Rogert
Two thumbs up (my butt)
Crowdfunded by monster aficionados and Todd Sheets enthusiasts, BONEHILL ROAD takes what we love about both and sets them up on a date. The story is straightforward to a point, then defies expectations a bit before getting back to the nitty gritty of werewolf violence, and the result is a nifty treat.
Yeah, it’s kinda like that
Emily and her teenage daughter flee home in a hurry after her husband has his latest fit of aggression. She’s done with him for good this time, so she’s driving to her father’s house several hours away, but the trip becomes harrowing after a “bear” attacks their car, leaving them stranded by the highway at night.
We’re stranded by the highway at night!
I don’t normally look this much like Sigourney Weaver!
They run from what they realize is no bear, and seek sanctuary in a beautiful home. When nobody answers they let themselves inside, where perhaps the truest horrors await…
I don’t want to give too much away, since the unexpectedness is what gave me half the enjoyment. The other half was the use of 100% practical FX, in true Todd Sheets fashion. Good on ya boy! Ya gotta love this guy!
When mom says the Pizza Rolls are ready
This isn’t Night of the Demons, I checked.
The acting is good enough, and the notorious Linnea Quigley makes an appearance of course. There is a moment near the end where the production value takes a bit of a nosedive as we seem to end up in an episode of Goosebumps, complete with excessive dutch angles.
Stay Out of the Basement
The Werewolves of Fever Kitchen
This would be a problem if I didn’t think it was awesome.
BHR is a blast. We get werewolves without boring origins and lore, we get a kickass practical effect transformation, and we get some boobies too.
Bone Apple Tit!*
BHR gets a howling 7/10
Pick yours up at almost any Walmart or online courtesy of Wild Eye Releasing!
Stay slime, and be rad at all times!
*caption courtesy of JadeRat

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