Schlock du Jour: Mrs. Claus (2018)

directed by Troy Escamilla

runtime: 86 mins

“A Creature is Stirring”
Well slap my ass and call me Santa! A Creature is stirring? How’s that for a tagline? Good huh? It’s freaking great…except that no where in this movie is there a creature. The original title for this film was “Stirring,” but no creature is stirring. Not along the chimney with care; not dancing with the sugar plums in childrens heads. None. There is a mask that invokes nightmares, however.
Merry Nightmares!
I propose some alternate taglines
-Deck the halls with BLOOD and GUTS
-Tis the season to be DEAD
-Fa la la la la, la la la AAAAHHHH!!!
Tough crowd…
The Delta Sigma Sigma sorority is host to a bloody, bloody murder/suicide. Ten years later, the younger sister of the murdered girl attends the same sorority because reasons. The sorority is a lil house with improperly spaced insignia. Notably, the Sigmas.
Note: the Sigmas.
Now a killer dressed as Mrs. Claus is offing coeds at a Christmas party (it’s more of a kick-back) and you know what? I don’t mind it! It’s bloody and brutal in little savory spurts. In-between these brief blips of brutality however, it is just reflective monologue after reflective monologue about this girl’s dead sister. Yawn. But there’s enough to this thing that it wasn’t too bad to sit through, and I can definitely see myself giving this a rewatch on the holidays.
Now, gripes…
“Must you?” I must, Helene Udy. I must.
I had hoped for a little magic, so when it became evident that the killer was a masked entity, and not the real pissed off wife of a down-and-out sad sack Santa, I became a little deflated. The cover promised a bitch of a killer!
Also, nobody gets killed by christmas cookies which is nothing short of a glaring oversight.
There were too many red herrings whose behavior goes unexplained. MRS CLAUS loses itself in the end to any viewer proud enough to care about such things as character development and/or payoff.  Fun enough for a scab like me, I give MRS CLAUS a…
Buy it on amazon, and visit the Wild Eye Releasing website!
Stay slime and be rad at all times!

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