The Merits of Sin: Killer Crocodile (1989) (Italy)

A murder happy colossal crocodile (here portrayed by a big ass goofy puppet) violently comes onto the scene in the swamps of a small island. These swamps are being polluted by radioactive waste from an unnamed shadowy corporation and this illegal waste dumping has brought a team of mildly attractive environmentalists to the island.

Team Meh

Their friend and native guide goes missing one night and when they ask for help from the local judge, he dismisses them and tells them to stay the hell away from the swamp. As it turns out, he is in cahoots with a sleazy journalist who is working for whatever company is using the swamps as a dumping ground. When the body of the guide is found, the two old sweaty white men accuse the environmentalists of murder but the local great white hunter (he goes by the name of Joe) squashes their accusations and declares a big ass crocodile to be the culprit.

In no position to judge

After the crocodile attacks in plain view of the village, Joe sets out to kill it and the group of nature lovers demand the creature be spared. In a shockingly quick turnaround, their idealist leader takes a 180 when one of his team is killed and he vows to destroy the giant beastie. Soon enough, everyone is on the water (including the shady judge and journalist) and the enormous reptile sees nothing but a big old feast.

Feed Me!

Killer Crocodile is an incredibly stupid movie. Asinine dialogue, braindead character motivation and a steady flow of idiocy litters the Dominican Republic shooting location at every turn. The monster is a stiff looking giant puppet and it is given a surprising amount of screen time. This all combines into a delightful mix for any film watcher who just wants to see a big ass beast take on a group of morons. It’s simple, it’s dopey, it drags in spots and if it was trying to preach anything it may have been unbearable, luckily it’s so inept it never comes off as pretentious…just charming. 6/10

Handsome Rocky Dennis and anorexic 80s Kiefer Sutherland

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