The Merits of Sin: Zombio (1999) (Brazil)

Starring the zombies and the cuties….


That backyard magic shoots a heavy stream of charm into what could have been a slog even at its brisk forty five minute runtime. Luckily we’re in the capable and slightly insane hands of Petter Baiestorf who I have a sneaking suspicion may be a Brazilian cousin of those brothers Polonia. Guts and blood splash across the screen and we even get some boobies, but that’s not the only entertainment on hand. So grab a cold one, throw on your favorite bikini (you know, the one that shows off your cockroach tattoo) and shut that god damn brain off, you’ll have no need for it here.

It’ll be fine

A weekend getaway on a small and deserted island goes to shit right quick for a horny young couple. For reasons unknown to me, a caped and masked hottie with a demon voice has raised a small army of the dead. Following the initial attack, the man is bit and the girlfriend has accidentally ingested zombie blood (there was a mishap with a beer). As the couple attempts survival, the bitten dude slowly slips into insanity as it seems the poisonous zombie saliva has gotten his dumbass high. The lady doesn’t fare any better as she continuously vomits and gets sicker. So, yeah, this pleasure weekend ends up being as enjoyable as a two night stay in Alabama (Roll Tide).

The “why?” is not important

Also, a cross dressing psychopath shows up on the island with his blonde victim but (surprise surprise) this little subplot doesn’t really go anywhere. Actually, this movie doesn’t really go anywhere and I’m alright with that. There’s some zombie on zombie violence and it comes to a close with the masked woman transforming into something akin to a villain Captain Planet would have taken on in a lesser episode. Everyone seems to be having a good time and the whole thing is dedicated to the memory of Lucio Fulci.

Feeling Fulci?

I trek through a bunch of crap and after awhile it all begins to smell the same. SOV horror has a tendency to run together but there are a few filmmakers that bring a bit of something special to their zero budget nightmares. That sliver of awesomeness is present and accounted for in Zombio. Goofiness and ripped out viscera seem to make a pleasant mix and like those aforementioned Polonia boys, nothing is being taken too serious. So if you’re a trash fiend like myself, I can’t recommend this one enough. 8/10

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