Schlock du Jour: Sadistic Eroticism (2012)

I’ve been off the grid for a little while thanks to a cocktail of rampant migraines and neverending car troubles. Just call me Tetsuo: The Engine Man until further notice. I also published my first book of poetry called MYSTICS & VIXENS which I will plug now:

Buy me on amazon.

I have watched many films during my sabbatical, several of which would be worthy of this article, but it was the spirit of homemade horror comedy that actually got me to pick up the pen again. Enter SADISTIC EROTICISM.

You know how sometimes you’d rather eat a pile of Taco Bell than some real, authentic Mexican food? That’s exactly what SADISTIC EROTICISM is. A movie that I like for some reason–if a certain mood strikes despite all logic and taste. Will I ever watch it again? Likely not. But that’s mainly because this asshole is two and a half hours long.
I KNOW!
Two and a half hours is a runtime that should be reserved for the likes of THE AVENGERS, not the likes of a wannabe TOXIC AVENGER. Don’t get me wrong, I like THE TOXIC AVENGER as much as the next scumfuck, and I’d rather watch it over any superhero flick in the entire Marvel cinematic universe, but dumb jokes and gross behavior is only entertaining for up to two hours maximum. Now let me dial it back because I don’t want you thinking this movie is on par with a Toxie flick.
SADISTIC EROTICISM desperately wants to be compared to Troma. I’ll grant that wish. It’s obviously inspired by CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH, and there are more direct references to Troma movies (which are contraband at Chastity High School) than in the self-congratulatory Troma movies themselves. It’s clear they wanted to be noticed by their lord and savior Lloyd Kaufman.
Troma fetish status: full blast
So, it’s two and a half hours of students masturbating and having sex in class, bizarre dubbing, black nazis, S & M principals, stupid sound effects, talking rabbits, nerds in trenchcoats, actresses reading directly from their scripts on camera, lesbian threesomes, and frequent tasteless rape jokes. Sound familiar? Now imagine this all shot with a handheld camera and starring ample-chested British pornstar Sophie Dee, who doesn’t appear until 40 minutes in.
Hello class!
Nice to boob you!
Sophie Dee plays Miss Lizz, who you realize almost immediately is just a vessel for Elizabeth Bathory. The story, if there is one, is that she seduces some students to do her bidding. That’s it. That’s the whole plot. And it’s aimless. And did I mention: TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS.
I’m literally dead.
Now, I don’t regret watching this little indie. I love this sort of shitty shit. I eat Taco Bell at least once a week on average, so you know where I’m coming from. Yes it has piles of boobies in low fidelity, but for my money I would recommend checking out the COCKFACE KILLER (AKA GOREFACE KILLER) series of films instead, also from WildEye Releasing, which are a better example of inspiration melding with originality.

Love,

Elliot Ian Ross (FKA Rat)


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