Schlock du Jour: Lobster Man from Mars (1989)

As I write this, the world is on fire. While I hope a resplendent phoenix rises from the ashes, I do find myself needing a brief reprieve from all of the facebook arguments and live media coverage. So what do I do? Naturally I turn to my comfort zone and watch a movie. A movie called LOBSTER MAN FROM MARS. This was a choice I made.

I know, I know. LOBSTER MAN FROM MARS sounds more like the title of R.L.Stine’s latest Goosebumps book, but it is indeed a movie, and this movie is all hopped up on goofballs!

Look at this goofball.

A Hollywood executive type needs a big loss to avoid paying taxes. Luckily for him, young Stevie Horowitz has just finished a movie called “Lobster Man from Mars,” and is eager to pitch his amateur creation. This is the wraparound, and isn’t all that necessary for the movie to even exist. They sit down and watch the thing, and we watch it with them.

When you already splorted but the gal keeps gluckin…

LMFM is a silly send up of the old 50s and 60s sci-fi flicks, with all the archetypical characters: Scientist. Private eye. A British couple. A brutish general. Skipper Bruce. A space ape from Mars. A lobster bat from Mars. A lobster man—from Mars! You know, the usual cast of characters. A space crustacean has come to Earth to steal its atmosphere. Yes. The air. And probably to eat some people, too. Bullets won’t kill it, but boiling water can. You get the sort of spoof we have going here, right?

Like many of you, I really expected quicksand to be a much more common peril I would come across in life.

The movie goes through the meta gimmicks of amateur filmmaking like creatures clearly on wires and in bad costumes, and some overly performative acting. The special effects are fairly cheap looking. These things aside though, it doesn’t play out as being all that amateurish. I felt that if anything, the movie within the movie should have been significantly worse in order to make the wraparound work.

The crustacean of the hour

It’s a stuck-at-home sick sorta movie. Did LOBSTER MAN FROM MARS shock and amaze? No it did not. Did LMFM grow on me like fungus on a week old bologna sandwich? Yes it did. Did you think you could watch this movie without hearing the musical stylings of the B52’s? Think again.

-ER


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