Directed by: Gerald Cormierruntime: 87 mins I believe it was the legendary Irish sportsman Shaquille O’Neal who famously said “necessity is the mother of invention.’ Well in 1990 a man named Gerald Cormier found it absolutely necessary for this world to have a movie where Frankenstein’s monster rips exploding farts. But if you asked me … More Review: Franky and His Pals (1990)
Directed by: David R. Williams, Tilke Hillruntime: 83 mins The struggles of being a creative… Not creating takes so much out of us. Sometimes the stars just aren’t aligned for our visions to come to fruition. That can lead to various forms of depression, and some visceral trips to dark places. But creating isn’t always … More Review: Rust Belt Driller (2022)
Fangboner, or as I like to call it: The Greatest Crotch Vampire Story Ever Told Starring: Brian Papandrea, Emily Hilborn, Sadie Tate, Sheri Darling Director: Nathan Rumler Company: Rock Bottom Video Year: 2015 How does one even go about reviewing the greatest crotch vampire story ever told? It’s not easy, I tell you. I can … More Fangboner
Directed by: Matt Jaissleruntime: 72 mins. I know I’ve been inactive for awhile. I had to go away. During that time I’ve learned and grown. Yeah, it’s true! And I’ve watched such awe-inspiring features as TITANIC 666 and SORORITY SLAUGHTER. Yet I realize I haven’t been here to provide you the chuckles and yuks you’ve … More Review: The Necro Files (1997)
The Merits of Sin…The Book Spook du Jour alum and oddball cinema connoisseur Brennan Dortch has published his first book, which is a mighty doozy mind you, and so I figured it would behoove me to say a few words: There’s a shit ton of heart and a severe lack of narrative control which is … More The Merits of Sin…The Book
No, this is not a review of a 90s R&B album! As a matter of fact this is a Cronenberg-ian body horror ride from the rough guts of Melbourne (Melbin), Australia on the tail end of their New Wave Punk scene. It’s directed by Philip Brophy, former drummer of performance punk band, ➡⬆➡ (Pronounced tsc-tsc-tsc … More A Pictorial Review of Body Melt (1993, Australia)
Virtues: Bloody Bloody Bible Camp fills every promise it makes in its premise and title. It’s a campy camp slasher with a biblical twist. There are quite a few top-notch kills, my favorite probably being this one: Take a drink for every dick joke and you’ll get to where you need to be to enjoy … More A Red-Letter Review of Vito Trabucco’s Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)
“Look, a horse.” “No, that’s a unicorn.” “What’s the difference?” “Horn coming out of its head.” ~Actual dialog from CarousHell In Steve Rudzinski’s Murdercorn movie a carousel unicorn breaks free from its ride prison (due to a “blood-borne pathogen” (a plotline that was ditched pretty early on because second drafts are bullshit amIrigh?) and- more … More [Off-Putting Ride Metaphor] CarousHELL (2016)
directed by: Scott Philip Goergens Albert Fish was one of the sickest, most depraved humans ever to live. He was known as the Werewolf of Wysteria. He was also known as a serial killer, child rapist, and cannibal. He was also also known as the guy who was discovered to have shoved 29 needles into … More The Scum Gutter: 29 Needles (2019)
directed by: Lance Ozanixruntime: 30 mins or so. You can tell a lot from an exclamation. For example, “Yikes!” tells us you are scared. “Ow!” tells us you are hurt. “Zoinks!” and “Jinkies!” tell us you are trapped in an episode of Scooby-Doo. Sometimes, when you’re watching shot-on-video horror, you just have to exclaim “Holy … More Schlock du Jour: Holy Moly (1991)
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