directed by Spooky Dan Walker runtime: 87 mins Jingle belle, jingle belle jingle all the way Belles have boobs, boobly boobs and Krampus murders kids! If you’re looking to have some R-rated fun this holiday season, look no further than SLAY BELLES. Trashiness meets magic under the fanciful umbrella of Christmas. The movie kicks off … More Schlock du Jour: Slay Belles (2018)
directed by G.W. Lawrence (Gary Whitson) runtime: 85 mins As we waited for our Pizza Hut to arrive one night when I was six, my dad and I talked about monsters. I was obsessed with drawing them, so odds are I was sitting on the floor drawing a one-eyed alien with a turtle shell for … More Schlock du Jour: The Mummy’s Dungeon (1993)
directed by Mark and John Polonia SOVember is here! That means extra helpings of shot-on-video wonders for the duration of the month. Thank me later. For now, seek out these estranged siblings of cinema, and satiate that hunger we both know you have. The hunger for the crops from lightly tread territories… You see a … More Schlock du Jour: Bad Magic (1998)
It’s that time again! I have culminated from my miscellaneous notes an all new edition of Haiku Reviews, that will hopefully make up for my recent neglect. Included in this entry are: Day of the Reaper Devotion All Strippers Must die American Guinea Pig: Sacrifice Devil’s Weekend Spoiler, I only really loved one of them. … More Schlock du Jour: Haiku Reviews Vol. 4
directed by Kirk Alex runtime: 88 mins A review for Lunch Meat is a review for us all. I’m sure my insights here will echo those of everysoul fortunate enough to have ridden the unshakable homegrown fiend of a ride that is Lunch Meat. Watching it seems to synchronize the viewer into some larger, undefined … More Schlock & Gore: Lunch Meat (1987)
BLESS THIS MESS The Basement on a Hill is returning as a podcast! While that is awesome, and we wish them all the luck and success in the world, The Basement on a Hill podcast and The Basement on a Hill blog have become two separate brands. So, going forward, The blog will now be … More Announcement: Name change!
directed by Umberto Lenzi runtime: 92 mins Zombies? Vampires?? ZOMPIRES??? Oh my. Crazed, irradiated men that look like an army of burnt Toxic Avengers spill from an unauthorized aircraft onto the landing strip with axes and shit! They also mow down military fools with Uzis! Reporter Dean Miller (a baggy-eyed Hugo Stiglitz) looks on. It … More Schlock & Gore: Nightmare City (1980)