Knowing that those around me have witnessed my floundering lows makes me feel…exposed. Even once the depression cycle has ended, I have to exist knowing that they have seen me in that state. It is for this reason that Schlock is my friend. Schlock doesn’t judge. Schlock only supports me. Schlock is love. Shlock is … More Schlock du Jour: Who Killed Captain Alex? (2010)
directed by Spooky Dan Walker runtime: 87 mins Jingle belle, jingle belle jingle all the way Belles have boobs, boobly boobs and Krampus murders kids! If you’re looking to have some R-rated fun this holiday season, look no further than SLAY BELLES. Trashiness meets magic under the fanciful umbrella of Christmas. The movie kicks off … More Schlock du Jour: Slay Belles (2018)
directed by G.W. Lawrence (Gary Whitson) runtime: 85 mins As we waited for our Pizza Hut to arrive one night when I was six, my dad and I talked about monsters. I was obsessed with drawing them, so odds are I was sitting on the floor drawing a one-eyed alien with a turtle shell for … More Schlock du Jour: The Mummy’s Dungeon (1993)
directed by Kirk Alex runtime: 88 mins A review for Lunch Meat is a review for us all. I’m sure my insights here will echo those of everysoul fortunate enough to have ridden the unshakable homegrown fiend of a ride that is Lunch Meat. Watching it seems to synchronize the viewer into some larger, undefined … More Schlock & Gore: Lunch Meat (1987)
BLESS THIS MESS The Basement on a Hill is returning as a podcast! While that is awesome, and we wish them all the luck and success in the world, The Basement on a Hill podcast and The Basement on a Hill blog have become two separate brands. So, going forward, The blog will now be … More Announcement: Name change!
directed by Umberto Lenzi runtime: 92 mins Zombies? Vampires?? ZOMPIRES??? Oh my. Crazed, irradiated men that look like an army of burnt Toxic Avengers spill from an unauthorized aircraft onto the landing strip with axes and shit! They also mow down military fools with Uzis! Reporter Dean Miller (a baggy-eyed Hugo Stiglitz) looks on. It … More Schlock & Gore: Nightmare City (1980)
directed by Gary Whitson runtime: 90 mins Just kidding! It’s time to ride the W.A.V.E. again! If you don’t know what W.A.V.E. is, check my previous review of a W.A.V.E. film, where I touch on that very subject. W.A.V.E. is quickly replacing Troma as my go-to for low, low lowlow budget filmmaking. That’s not to … More Schlock & Gore: The Vampire’s Curse (1998)(NSFW)
directed by Jamie Dixon runtime: 120 mins give or take In a race between the darkness and the light, a shadow demon is after the kid from Air Bud, and he’s tearing the town apart to get to him. Representing the light is Yondu—er, Michael Rooker as Father Jacob, a gun-toting preacher who says things … More Schlock & Gore: Shadowbuilder (1998)
directed by Gary Whitson runtime: 95 mins Boys and girls, it’s long overdue, but finally I am bringing you a W.A.V.E. Productions movie review. Some of you may ask, “What the frick is W.A.V.E.? More like W?A?V?E?, am I right?” Well before I get to the review, allow me to enlighten those of you in … More Schlock & Gore: Sleepover Massacre (1989)
directed by Don G. Jackson runtime: 83 mins Toxic Filth Video I am a disappointment. Before you attempt to console me, please, just listen to my story. I had it all planned out, see? I held my horses for the perfect opportunity. I had waited so long to finally see it, and I knew I … More Schlock & Gore: Rollergator (1996)
Spook du jour 