The Merits of Sin: Attack of the Dangerous Disgusting Black Worms From an Unknown Planet That No One Knows About (1999) (Germany)

A lot can happen in twenty three minutes. I just had no idea that this much could happen in under a half hour. May the trash Gods bless Germany and all the weirdo backyard filmmakers from Deutschland. A chunk of exploded asteroid crash lands on earth, drawing the attention of two pleasant young German men. … More The Merits of Sin: Attack of the Dangerous Disgusting Black Worms From an Unknown Planet That No One Knows About (1999) (Germany)

The Merits of Sin: Heaven is Only in Hell (1994) (Netherlands)

“Go and find the old well with the witch mark. Bring a blood sacrifice to the well. Blood. Lots of blood. Descend into the well and on the other side of it you will become, with the help from the dark forces, an eternal heavenly life.” Did you memorize that quote? No? That’s okay. You’re … More The Merits of Sin: Heaven is Only in Hell (1994) (Netherlands)

The Merits of Sin: Suffer, Little Children (1983) (UK)

Films this boring should not be this enjoyable. Wait. I don’t think that makes any sense. Maybe boring isn’t the right word. Awkward? Yeah. That’s what I’ll go with. Films this awkward should not be this enjoyable. Nah. That doesn’t sound right either. Fuck it. If you dig a little deeper, you find out why … More The Merits of Sin: Suffer, Little Children (1983) (UK)

Schlock du Jour: Cannibal Cult (1999)

Coming in hot with the overt EVIL DEAD influences is the SOV regional horror flick, CANNIBAL CULT. After the misconceived multi-colored, multi-font title credits and one big ugly screen wipe, the story begins. Camp Ford, 1950… A camp director plays with demonic forces and kills his co-worker/wife with a machete. He then snaps his daughter’s … More Schlock du Jour: Cannibal Cult (1999)

Schlock du Jour: Daikanyama Wonderland Horror (1986)

Is this movie secretly an adaptation of a Haruki Murakami novella? It almost could be, except for the fact that the protagonists never sit around quietly, listening to light jazz or cooking spaghetti while their cat goes missing. Have I lost you? DAIKANYAMA WONDERLAND HORROR takes place in Tokyo, in a little hipster disctrict near … More Schlock du Jour: Daikanyama Wonderland Horror (1986)

The Merits of Sin: Married to a Witch (2001) (Nigeria)

Holy fuck. Somewhere beyond boredom, Married to a Witch casts its lethargic spell with weary aplomb. Sermonizing mixes with rambling dialogue then nods off in the back room before waking itself up with its own snoring. The near two hour run time feels more like twelve hours of talk radio and offers only minuscule reprieves … More The Merits of Sin: Married to a Witch (2001) (Nigeria)