The Merits of Sin: 3D Saamri (1985) (India)

There are only a few things that can be recognized beyond culture, anywhere in this crazy ass world you travel. Delectable derrières, the mustache cool factor, bad ass jean jackets and, of course, sweet sweet revenge. I don’t know how many times revenge has served as the driving force behind a horror flick worldwide and as those cool kids I spent the summer teaching advanced thuganomics to used to say; “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Don’t fix it

Dharmesh Saxena, who the townsfolk call Saamri, is a rich old coot who happens to be a very powerful magic man. Already in ill health, he suffers a heart attack after a rather tough exorcism. Seeing the mortal writing on the wall, he gets his affairs in order and decides to leave his entire estate to his beautiful niece. His other family catches wind of this and gets to scheming.

Scheme team

The group of scuzzballs confront Saamri with an updated will but he refuses to play ball. Seeing no other option (remember they are scuzzballs), the group viciously assault him and throw his body in the river. They make it seem like a suicide but it just so happens Saamri’s loyal servant (and magic practitioner) has witnessed the whole damn thing. Uh oh.

That’s right little buddy

The priest removes his master’s corpse from his burial site and brings him to the strange temple located under his mansion. He performs a little black magic and after spilling some black goat blood on the dead man’s body, Saamri rises. This is good timing for his niece because those shitheels that murdered him have now set their sights on her. With her dead, the conniving bastards look to gain a shit ton of money. Killing her proves to be a bit difficult, not only is her smooth boyfriend always around but the supernatural zombie thing is having no trouble delivering vengeance like it’s going out of style.

Another Saamri morning coming down

The House of Ramsay strikes again in this less than thrilling horror outing from the Indian staple. Horror legend Anirudh Agarwal is his usual imposing self and we get plenty of chances to gaze upon his creepy ass, as he takes out the criminals in his own house. There’s also a heavy sexual vibe (tame by American standards) that managed to surprise me quite a bit. The women are beautiful, the creeps do a fine job of mugging for the camera and the repetitive soundtrack is just the name Saamri being chanted over and over again (it’s awesome). Lovely musical interludes force themselves in and I’ll never be one to complain about that, I happen to love ’em. And just as common as the dance numbers, ya get some horrendously awful comedy from a chubby weirdo that somehow charms and annoys in perfect harmony. Dream sequence zombies inspire a Thriller “homage” and the film’s climax involves a floating car. It was originally made for the 3D market so plenty of crap is senselessly shoved at the screen and there were no subtitles…but like I said before, revenge is beyond language. Not as loony as some of India’s better offerings, it does bore through some stretches but I’ll take it over most crap. 6/10

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